Change of Plans

The holidays will look different this year for most of us. Your usual travel and family gatherings have most likely been altered by the pandemic. 

Knowing that you’re opting out can cause stress on all sides, but remind yourself of the good that you’re doing by protecting the people you love. Coming up with alternatives and talking to your kids early about how the holidays are going to go down can make the difference.

First, you have to decide that you’re ok with the change. You will be disappointed, there’s no doubt. You will feel pressure from all sides, guaranteed. You may have experienced a great loss this year – and that can be in so many forms, from human life to job loss. But, at this moment you have to put others’ physical and mental health as a priority – even if they don’t see it for themselves. Your heart may be extra heavy, but it can also be filled back up by how show up in this season. I’m here to tell you it’s ok that you feel lost in this moment, but I’m also here to tell you to pick up, use your creative energy and navigate this with all the love and care that you can. You’ve got this.

Quick thoughts on how to manage a change of plans:

• Start with your partner, make sure you’re on the same page of how to approach and talk about the change. Be consistent. Be unified. You don’t want one parent saying “We don’t want to get Grandma sick” and the other saying, “Mommy doesn’t think we should go.”
• Have a plan for what the alternative is. It doesn’t have to be something out of reach, but you can make the little things exciting. Decide to make cookies on Thanksgiving morning or go leaf hunting and make a wreath. Little things that your little one can see as special. Sometimes a popcorn and campout in the living room to watch Charlie Brown is enough to create a special memory instead of a stressful one.
• Offer a way to connect virtually with family and friends. This is a no-brainer. Set it up. Connect. Have some easy word games (Scategories or That’s It!, for example) or scavenger hunt games to play. Have your littles share what they’re thankful for. The family will love it.
• Do not take on the Thanksgiving dinner as if it will look like what your parents or grandparents prepare. It too will look different. Don’t put that unnecessary stress on yourself. Make YOUR version of Thanksgiving dinner. That will be the special part. Your spin, your take, your way of showing your family you love them and are grateful for them. Hint? It doesn’t have to involve a turkey. It doesn’t even have to mean that you cook it!
• Give back to the community. If you can take part in a local food bank or special holiday food drive, do it. This year, more than ever, there is need. Your kids need to be a part of that giving. Many nursing homes allow you to mail in artwork and cards to share with the residents. Sometimes a simple trace-your-hand turkey is just the thing to make someone’s day. Start with just your neighbors. Our kids have taped pictures to the doors of our elderly neighbors since March. We found out they put them on their refrigerators and now have a whole gallery of their artwork to remind them that we care about them.   

We will get through this. Simplify your plan for the holidays.

Remind each other of what’s most important and remain calm. Positivity rates of COVID-19 are rising. Do your very best to protect your family and care for those around you. Wear a mask, stay socially distant, wash your hands and show grace to one another. Everyone is dealing with the change in their own way. Be sensitive to that. Be grateful for what you do have and hopeful for what’s ahead.